I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
