No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just had sex on a roof
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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