She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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