so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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