Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Life is so much better after having sex.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
