Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
