dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
