When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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