That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
