some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
