she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
