i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
