hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
