I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Enjoy the penises
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
