I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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