this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
