Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize