Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
