suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
