three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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