the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
