she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
