Jerry, you need to find god
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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