When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
