come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
