im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
