it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can I color on your dick again?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
