Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
