HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize