is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
