hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
