Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
