Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
