Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
