it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize