I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
