Kiss
Puke
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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