Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
