So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
they're like a gay fantastic four
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
