Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
