What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
