I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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