Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
