David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
