I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize