some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
