i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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