What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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