Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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