I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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