Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
