If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize