wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
