I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
