Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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