I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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