Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
