I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
