Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
