Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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