best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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