I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
