it hurts more in the daytime
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
