Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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